I had the perfect beginning. Top in every subject at school. Studying classics. Talented in music. Attending one of Britain’s best girls’ boarding schools. Exhibition (scholarship) to Cambridge University.
My Dad told me I was “creme de la creme” and could be a lawyer or a civil servant when I grew up. I chose teaching. He said I would be a headmistress by the time I was 30.
I enjoyed the challenge of translating modern texts into ancient Greek or Latin; I was highly articulate and was frequently told I could argue the hind legs off a donkey; but none of this gave me anything I truly valued.
What I really wanted when I was 7 was to become a nurse and to help people. By the time I was 9 there was a burning wish in me to be a ballerina – no matter that I lacked the necessary talent and physique. As a teenager I spent all my free time playing the piano. And at 19 I was studying the oboe in Salzburg.
All of these spoke to a deep need inside me to be fully alive. A pulsing energy that I can still feel today that needs to be expressed and for which there are no words.
So something went wrong with the plan for me to become successful.
By the time I was 30 I’d left teaching. I’d spent almost 2 years watching my younger sister eventually die of a brain tumour. My life was upside down and things like that weren’t supposed to be happening to someone like me.
It was perfectly clear that no amount of brains was going to save this situation.
I was introduced to a Chinese Master and started to explore the world of energy. It was so alien to me that I felt like a complete outsider for many years. It was a world where being clever got in the way. We learned to clear our minds and not to think.
But it was fascinating. The ancient knowledge of the Chinese held a deep resonance for me. It made sense of life in a way that I’d looked for when I studied philosophy at university but never found.
At the same time I’d found myself what I considered to be the best job in the world. I was a reporter and producer for BBC Radio. I spent my time travelling around Britain and the world interviewing children. It was an extraordinary training in naivety and innocence. Sometimes I felt my heart would burst as I listened to their stories.
They asked me questions I couldn’t answer. Questions about life. Why do we go to war? Why do adults beat children? Why can’t people get on with each other when we’re all the same? The problem was that I’d never heard anyone else answer them well either.
It was clear I needed to learn about life. That pulsing energy inside me was asking for greater expression. I met another Chinese Master who seemed to have the answers. I trained with her for 15 years, taking me to Croatia, New Zealand, China and many other countries. I was longing to feel “myself”, at home in my own skin, alive.
Throughout that time I often felt I was cursed by my brain. Little value was placed on intelligence in that community and I struggled to find the relaxation and ease we were supposed to be learning. I was criticised all the time for being complicated and over clever. I was very hurt and confused for a long time because my original asset was not recognised.
At the same time I gained the most extraordinary experience and knowledge about energy. This was a powerful world beyond the mind where healing and miracles took place all the time. To this day it astonishes me that I was brought into this world. From my earlier experience there appears to be no way I could have imagined or wished for it, but I’m eternally grateful that it happened.
As part of our training we developed businesses. I had tremendous faith in what we were doing, and a good dose of gullibility. In 2000 I created The Energy Bank in London. I was sure beyond any doubt that it would be successful and set about introducing London’s large financial institutions to this new world of energy. We worked with many leaders over the next 10 years, teaching them how to relax and take care of their energy. The results were life-changing for them, but we ended up going out of business in 2010 because of the global financial crisis.
It seemed like a terrible failure at the time. I was hard on myself, especially because after all that training I “should” have been able to solve the problem. Looking back, it was a very unhappy year but at the end a strange and surprising thing happened. A few weeks after the business closed its doors I was reading a much-needed little book about how to become a money magnet. It had exercises at the end of each chapter and one of them asked me to write down “what money wants to say to me”.
It seemed rather odd, but I gave it a go and found myself writing the most extraordinary beautiful words. They flowed from my pen without any thought on my part. It appeared that money was talking through me. Over the next 3 months I wrote in this way every day and ended up with a series of chapters that I formed into a book called “Love Money, Money Loves You”.
It was a delightful experience. I had no idea what to expect when I sat down to write and I had little clue until then, what money really is. It often surprised me and made me laugh. Again I discovered a world I couldn’t possibly have imagined in my own mind.
Eventually I reached the point where I needed to leave my Chinese Master. For many years I’d been one of the most loyal and stable members of her community. There was enormous failure implicit in leaving, especially because I hadn’t found the level of aliveness I’d been searching for. It was as if she had a secret and I hadn’t succeeded in accessing it.
But something else showed up instead and this was even more of a surprise. A mentor introduced me to spirituality, rooted this time in Western tradition. In my arrogance I thought I knew all about everything already, but he touched my curiosity so I decided to explore. After several months of enquiry I happened to be leading a group relaxation online. I began to experience an inner stillness I’d never known before. It was absolute and indescribable, accompanied by an unassailable knowledge that we are protected and totally safe. It was quite unlike any of the deeply relaxed and meditative states I’d previously experienced.
It created a new thread in my life, that interwove with the energy I’d been studying for so long. My greatest pleasure now is to share this deeper spiritual connection with another human being who is genuinely interested. A simple conversation about love, beauty or life can create such joy. It is the closest I come to experiencing heaven on earth and I’m deeply grateful to have discovered how easy it is.
And so the story of my life has been made up of counterpoints. My early success created failure in everything that was important to me. My failures took me into worlds that I didn’t even dream existed.
I often struggled with the fact that I didn’t reach my conventional potential, but it’s now clear that my life would have felt very limited if I had. Instead I’m happy and I feel a remarkable freedom. I’m learning all the time and I’m very different inside from other people the same age as me. I do the work that I love and I share it across the world. This will increase as I gain more capability and capacity.
Now I’m fascinated by the future. We live in a time when our evolution is so rapid, and will become even more so, that we’re being pushed inexorably to change in ways we barely understand.
My life makes more sense now. I’ve been given the knowledge to help people handle this change.
I believe the biggest question we will ask ourselves in the coming 100 years is a simple one. “Who am I?” This is not just the perennial human question, but a much more urgent one. Within the next two to three decades we’ll have the knowledge to control our health and wellbeing by placing nanobots in our bloodstream. We may have created Artificial Intelligence that is way beyond our ability to control any more. We’ll have automated aspects of our lives that will so fundamentally change our daily experience that it can be frightening even to think about it.
And so most people don’t.
But there are other options. We could feel so fully alive and well that we don’t need nanobots. We could be so creative that we use AI to assist us in greater and greater projects that benefit our planet and our species. We could develop our own special abilities so we’re grateful for automation. It will give us the freedom to venture into new territory that’s truly exciting and exhilarating.
The thing is these options won’t happen unless we apply ourselves to them. They’re not inevitable.
It will take a massive shift in consciousness to create such amazing, alive human beings. And that shift happens because of you and me, not because of someone else.
As we engage with the question, “Who am I?” we’ll come up with answers. If we stay open they may surprise us.
They’ll go way beyond intelligence.
How can I help people with the changes that I foresee?
I have learned how to heal almost anything and I love to teach the principles of self-healing. I believe this should be a basic learning for all children from an early age. The vast majority of sickness we currently experience is unnecessary, as is the vast majority of medication. With very simple knowledge we can heal virtually all the chronic physical and emotional diseases that create the greatest burden on our health systems and free them up to deal with emergencies, extreme cases and people who are unable to learn self-healing. We could also use the same knowledge to develop radical health – a vastly healthier version of human life than we currently enjoy.
I know that I will need to teach emotional self mastery in difficult times. When change is fast or traumatic, it causes a lot of disturbance for most people. At those times, we need pillars of emotional stability and strength who can lead people who are unsure or afraid. I train people to become those leaders. Further on, this kind of emotional resilience allows us to become far more creative and satisfied, because we’re no longer reactive. We take responsibility and have the capability and capacity to solve problems.
I have started to explore how to teach superpowers. The principle is simple – we all have the capacity to develop abilities way beyond anything we currently imagine. It’s based on the same principles as everything else I currently teach. We currently put most of our investment into developing machines. If we put similar energy into developing ourselves and our greater abilities we would be clear that machines should be used to give us the freedom to be creative, powerful beings. The machines can do the routine work and the demanding, tiring mental work, while we work at the lighter levels, using the most advanced knowledge of life, to create the life we truly want to live.